Amena Khan's Blog
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Every Writer Is A Thief
“I have myself always been terrified of plagiarism—of being accused of it, that is. Every writer is a thief, though some of us are more clever than others at disguising our robberies. The reason writers are such slow readers is that we are ceaselessly searching for things we can steal and then pass off as our own: a natty bit of syntax, a seamless transition, a metaphor that jumps to its target like an arrow shot from an aluminum crossbow.”
-Joseph Epstein
Yes. I steal. Sometimes when I really like a phrase, I’ll tweet it. In the process of tweeting, I try to adjust it into 140 characters. There are a lot of times when I cannot adjust it into 140 characters, so I rephrase it so much that it is no longer the same idea and no longer the same words. Its not mine, its not theirs.
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Everything that we think of has a frequency. Because your thoughts have a frequency, they are ‘picked up’ by those people and things that you desire and that match your signals-just like a radio signal is picked up when we set it to the right frequency. For example, if all your life you’ve thought of how miserable your life is, then that is actually what you’re asking for-a miserable life. Whatever it is that you are feeling/thinking is a good reflection of what is in the process of becoming. Your present is a result of your past thoughts. You have to think what you want, because like attracts like. You don’t say anti-war, you say pro-peace. You don’t say anti-hunger, you say pro-feast. It’s not wishful thinking-it’s Quantum Physics.
The more emotion you add to your thoughts, the stronger the signal. The universe likes speed. When you get an intuitive nudge- you must act upon it.
I have now introduced to you, the law of attraction otherwise known as ‘the secret’. This is how you act on it:
1.Take some time on a daily basis to ‘create’ desirable thoughts. Write down a list of things you wish to have. Now close your eyes and believe that you have it. Be cautious of how you think-this is not day dreaming, it is acting upon the law of attraction. Be so real in your thought that even you can’t differentiate it from reality.
2. Get out of the “thought-creating” process and express gratitude for whatever you are thankful for in your current life. Love yourself to the max.
3. Bring yourself in alignment with whatever you ask for. If you ask for happiness, make sure everything in your house reflects happiness-the color, the people etc. All the energies have to align.
4. Have fun with it. Choose your thoughts carefully.
Too many people I have talked to recently don’t know about this and it is a story that has marveled me for years now. Let me share.
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Deep Sea Diving is supposed to be a life changing experience. It has been described as:
- Being in outer space but underwater
- Serene and out of body experience
- In 1 word, I would call it freedom: from gravity, surface worries, surface pressures, everyday stresses
- Peace
- sensory overload
- an active, physical form of meditation
- Scuba diving is the only time in my life I’ve ever known what it feels like to be graceful …
- closest sensation you’ll ever get to flying
- Life changing
- Serenity. Nothing else matters anymore. The world slows itself down, sometimes stands completely still, just for you. All the pressure you felt before is just gone. Gravity has disappeared. All but the most calming of sounds are gone. Light acts strangely. It’s the world I would rather be in.
- Wonderfully calm, yet invigoratingly alert, completely in control, yet at the capricious whim and mercy of something greater. Looking in wide-eyed wonder, yet feeling at home
- You discover that you are alive. You are conscious of every breath. You value life-breath by breath.
In a movie I saw recently, one of the protagonists comes to the surface after scuba diving and cries. That is what raised my curiosity not only about what a life changing experience scuba diving must be, but also about why we cry. We cry because there is a build up of energy with feelings. It has to be released. That’s all it is, a release mechanism. Too bad it has such a stigma associated with it.
Couple years ago, the color yellow presented itself to me in the most beautiful shape/form: a song. The video of this song presented an exuberant palette of yellow. I heard this song countless times. I admired every bit about it: the situation, the video, the mood, the actors, the dancers, the singers and, of course, the music.
Now let’s step back:
A couple weeks ago when IIFA (Bollywood Stuff) was hosted in Toronto, I joined the enormous crowds to cheer endlessly for my fellow Indian celebrities. I cheered in awe of their capacity to entertain the Indian crowds and for shining a light on India that helped accelerate it’s recovery from the ‘Poor, Third World country‘ Image to what it is today. While I waited outside of the Rogers Center where the awards were being hosted, I saw celebrities pass by in their IIFA marked cars. They would modestly lower down their window and wave to the crowds. I recognized most of the celebrities. In the midst of the hundred something cars, I saw a red car and a gentleman roll down his window. I had no clue who he was. He was three feet away from me. I could easily converse with him if I wanted to. But who was he? He stared back in our direction, almost eager to see who would recognize him. He had to be someone. He was going to take a picture of us, but I turned away. My sister and I agreed that we wouldn’t pose for any ‘crazy fan’ pictures. Oh well. ‘Probably one of those technicians or cameramen’, I thought.
A couple days later I found out. My friends, the gentleman in that car was none other than the music director of the song I heard three years ago. It was Salim- (from the Salim-Sulaiman duo) who composed the song Haule Haule. I wish I could tell him how much that song meant to me. I wish.
I was told by a professor that we must learn to externalize what ‘happens’ in our life and watch moments pass by us, as though you were watching a move-of your own life. Lets say for example that you are injured. Instead of saying that “I am injured”, you should say “this leg is injured”. See how it gets externalized? Its not ‘your’ leg anymore and now you have to take care of ‘it’. You no longer have to bear the burden of feeling the pain anymore, because it is ‘a’ leg, not ‘your’ leg.
On a similar note, have you ever found yourself talking to yourself and discouraging yourself from doing something: “no, don’t you dare do that”, ”this is your last chance, do it right missy”, or “wow, you’re are such an idiot”. I find myself speaking to myself when I want to see a different perspective on an issue. I know it sounds like a case of split personality, but its pretty normal. I speak to save myself to get myself out of the locked box.
Recently I found myself in a situation where I had to take an opposing stand against an office administrator. There were moments in my argument when I couldn’t help but personalize the issue. I remember talking on the phone and thinking whether or not she even knew me by face. Then I reminded myself that even if this person knew me personally, it would not effect the situation because at the end of the day, she was following policies and procedures set by the organization and I found myself trapped in those procedures. If anything, I would have to work with her, not against her to come to a solution. I felt like I was playing a role and it was ok to play that role-it was nothing personal. The situation had to be externalized in order for me to manage it emotionally.
I have come to realize that as a human, I have been trained to ‘react’ to my environment: react with an emotion. You see a snake, you scream-with fear. You see a movie, you enjoy-with joy.You hurt your leg, you cry-with pain. Now I have come to realize that not every situation demands a reaction and even if it does, it need not have an emotion attached to it. Remember, it is your leg that has been injured, not you. Give it some thought.
After reading some of the passages in this novel, I internally begged God that even my worst enemy should not feel that depth of pain. Khaled Hosseini clearly communicates that survival is next to impossible without compassion, love and solidarity. Before I share some fantastic quotations from this novel, I want to briefly explain the psychology behind pain. During my undergrad, I had learned that when fear takes over a person, pain diminishes. Our professor shared an example of a man who was in the mouth of a tiger and said that fear overwhelmed him so much, that he did not feel any pain. Let me reiterate: He was in the mouth of a tiger and he couldn’t feel the pain!
“Walter Cannon, a Harvard physiologist says that when our fight or flight response is activated, our respiratory rate increases, blood is shunted away from our digestive tract and directed into our muscles and limbs, which require extra energy and fuel for running and fighting, our pupils dilate, our awareness intensifies, our sight sharpens, our impulses quicken, our perception of pain diminishes, our immune system mobilizes with increased activation. We become prepared—physically and psychologically—for fight or flight. We scan and search our environment, looking for the enemy. Fear becomes the lens through which we see the world“
So I wonder. If people in countries like Afghanistan live such a stressful life, do they always find themselves in a state of fight-or-flight? The amount of stress-hormones released in this state are destined to kill you. I doubt it. These people have to adopt other ways to deal with their situations. What makes them survive is their selflessness, intuition and courage, characteristics that are brimming in Hassan’s character. I cannot come to terms with this character’s state of mind. I still haven’t. I will probably marvel the characters that Khaled Hosseni created for the rest of my life.
Some fantastic quotations from this novel were“Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. All of it. – Amir“
“Time can be a greedy thing-sometimes it steals the details for itself.”
“A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer.”
“There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft….When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness.”
“It’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years.”
“Not a word passes between us, not because we have nothing to say, but because we don’t have to say anything”
“War doesn’t negate decency. It demands it, even more than in times of peace.”
“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.
“In Kabul, hot running water had been like fathers, a rare commodity.”
“A boy who won’t stand up for himself becomes a man who can’t stand up to anything. “
Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.
-Catch me if you Can
Never ever ever give up. Remember, as the Chinese proverb says: Its better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness. Time is of essence-always. If the mouse waited to think, it would drown.
A couple weeks ago I was at a large family/friend gathering for lunch. I didn’t really know many people. While heading out the door, I caught the eye of an elderly lady who seemed to be walking towards me, maybe to say bye. I hesitated a bit. Then as I walked towards her, she said, ” I don’t know when in life we will get to meet again”. With my usual smile I hugged her, but in my mind, I froze. Usually when someone says something like that, I would try to make them feel better by saying things like “oh, I will drop by to say hi etc.”. This was for real. I was actually never going to meet her again. She just was seeking some company. The entire afternoon she must have been by herself. What do people talk to her about? What does she want? My God, I felt so helpless.
I think, there comes a time in our life when we give up living and eagerly await death. Horrible, I know. Old people mean a lot to me. They say, an old man loved is winter with flowers. These people sometimes crave attention, just like babies do- and in a way, it is our duty to give them the desired attention. Besides, they have so much to learn from-so much wisdom. May God bless that lady. May God bless you and me when we grow old. I hope nobody dies of loneliness.
